07:18 am - dream... livejournal post

I was at my moms house for a family gathering, They were all mad at me and not talking to me... so I decided to become an insect lawyer. I was representing this very pretty white leaf like insect who also happened to be deadly poisonous. She kept threatening to bite me, and I was scared of her. But she was really pretty. This is what she looked like, but white white, and not as big, with about 100 legs underneath, completely flat, and a bit more delicate. Anyway, I was not doing a very good job representing her, and she was going to lose, so I tucked her into my pocket and helped her escape. She told me that she wanted something (this is the part of the movie where one character whispers in the others' ear, and the scene changes before you know what was said...)

I tuck the insect under a blanket and tell her to hide there and stay put, then I go. Suddenly, I'm in a pharmacy, and I have to crawl over a huge piece of furniture to get to the window, where I explain that I am an insect anthropologist and that I need a syringe for dispensing medication to children because the insect wants milk and minestrone soup. The pharmacists gets all excited, and tells me to hold on, runs to the back, and comes out about 10 minutes later with a bowl of chili. He tells me to try his minestrone soup. Its not minestrone, its chili! I make excuses and remind him about the syringe and he gives it to me but pouts as I walk off.

I get home with milk and minestrone soup mix in a bag, and start cooking. I rescue the insect, who has been trying not to drown in a puddle of water that has appeared in my bed under the covers. I watch as she balances all her feet on top of the water and floats. The cat apparently pushed her into it. I get her a graduated cylinder of milk and fill the syringe, but she dives in head first to drink it all. Then I bring in the minestrone, which I also made with milk. Then Stephen sent me a text saying he loves me and his mum and Norbert are there and they were going out. This, of course, woke me and the dream ended.

Everything was fine, but I got the willies when looking up pics of the insect to link here, so I think it might have been a nightmare. I'm scared of leaf bugs, now. :(

And Christine... I want to go to the farmers market too!

Current Mood: groggy

Dream... (LiveJournal Post)

I was at my moms house for a family gathering, They were all mad at me and not talking to me... so I decided to become an insect lawyer. I was representing this very pretty white leaf like insect who also happened to be deadly poisonous. She kept threatening to bite me, and I was scared of her. But she was really pretty.


This is what she looked like, but white white, and not as big, with about 100 legs underneath, completely flat, and a bit more delicate. Anyway, I was not doing a very good job representing her, and she was going to lose, so I tucked her into my pocket and helped her escape. She told me that she wanted something (this is the part of the movie where one character whispers in the others' ear, and the scene changes before you know what was said...)

I tuck the insect under a blanket and tell her to hide there and stay put, then I go. Suddenly, I'm in a pharmacy, and I have to crawl over a huge piece of furniture to get to the window, where I explain that I am an insect anthropologist and that I need a syringe for dispensing medication to children because the insect wants milk and minestrone soup. The pharmacists gets all excited, and tells me to hold on, runs to the back, and comes out about 10 minutes later with a bowl of chili. He tells me to try his minestrone soup. Its not minestrone, its chili! I make excuses and remind him about the syringe and he gives it to me but pouts as I walk off.

I get home with milk and minestrone soup mix in a bag, and start cooking. I rescue the insect, who has been trying not to drown in a puddle of water that has appeared in my bed under the covers. I watch as she balances all her feet on top of the water and floats. The cat apparently pushed her into it. I get her a graduated cylinder of milk and fill the syringe, but she dives in head first to drink it all. Then I bring in the minestrone, which I also made with milk. Then Stephen sent me a text saying he loves me and his mum and Norbert are there and they were going out. This, of course, woke me and the dream ended.

Everything was fine, but I got the willies when looking up pics of the insect to link here, so I think it might have been a nightmare. I'm scared of leaf bugs, now. :(

And Christine... I want to go to the farmers market too!

My Day, Looking Backwards. (LiveJournal Post)

I am craving spinach today. Spinach and peanut butter. I can't seem to get enough of either. I catch myself with a spoon, dipping into the peanut butter jar, then follow it up with raw spinach like a cow chewing cud. It must be disgusting.

I know why I do it. It's the protein and the iron. I generally crave raw spinach. During the period of months that there was none available because of the salmonella problem, I thought I was going to die. I was craving it so bad I might have eaten it and taken the risk.

The peanut butter is the last month or so, and I think it might be the protein, and because of the fact that I have cut meat out of my diet drastically. Yes, I still eat meat, but maybe 2 or 3 times a week versus daily. It is supposed to be healthier that way. I don't know, if I am craving protein.

Yes, I'm beating around the bush. I'll stop now and tell you what you want to know. My day.

It actually started off pretty good. Busy, anyway. Dar surprised me by getting here around 8.15 while I was making breakfast for Boo. (Malt o' Meal with sugar - always reminds me of when I was a little girl. My dad used to make it for me) She was rarin' to go work on the storage unit, and I DID tell her that I would go help. We actually made it out of the house by 9.15, dropped Boo of with Chris, then went to town. We threw away an entire dumpster of crap. It felt good. I came back with a few things, but the most important was a box. A white box with blue stripes. A falling apart box, by this time. It holds all of the letters and cards and love notes and trinkets that have ever been sent to me. And some I have written and never sent. I have waited to do anything with all of the letters and cards from Kim because of wanting this box. This is where they will go. A graveyard, I suppose, of love.

I had an appointment to have my hair cut. (No, just a trim... not cut off) which I was late too because a very tired boo was too busy throwing a fit to go to sleep. He is almost 6 and still does not do well without a nap. He just can't keep himself together when he is even a bit tired. So I ended up leaving him screaming, and was stressed all the way to the hairdressers. And I even felt a bit uncomfortable there. Not that she did anything, I was just feeling the beginnings of unwelcome and loser that come around this time.

I ran away as fast as I could, looking forward to hiding at home.... and things happened.

Finally... Ah.... silence. Boo outside playing, silence. So I sit and start going through old letters in my box. Mistake. Alarm is going off in my brain and I ignore it. Bwap Bwap Bwap! 10 minutes later I'm sobbing and feeling so freaking lonely, like I am a terrible person to have treated all these people this way, totally unlovable, sobbing so much that my collar on my shirt is wet.

I spent the rest of the night trying to pick up the pieces.

I am doing this by drawing. I have started a piece, and so far it really gets my lavalampymorosetwisted thing in my head. Maybe I'll share it when I'm done. But don't laugh. I can't draw.

So no period yet... maybe this is the worst day, which means I should start in about 3 days. It's a bad month.
I don't think it helped that Stephen and I did not talk at all today.

Speaking of, thanks Andrea for reminding me to update you all on that topic. Christine mentioned the other night as I was whining to her about it, "Does he not realize that loans are the only way a person can go to college anymore?" And it made me think - maybe he DOESN'T know that. Maybe this is one of those weird cross-cultural miscommunication thingies. So I talked to him about it. And it was. He says that he can't imagine owing the 20,000 that I owe as it stands right now, but that he understands. It bothers him, though. There, a bachelors degree doesn't work like this. I don't really understand how it /does/ work, but that's ok. The bottom line is that it concerns him how much money it is, but he sees that 16000 is less than the 24000 I expect to borrow to finish my degree here, and I can look into them. I won't though, until I hear back from the university. Monday I'll send them an inquiry email again.

So this is my long ranty whiny post about my PMS days. I'm ok - don't worry about me, but do love me. I think you guys are the best friends I could have. And I want to keep you. Thanks for checking up on me tonight, Andrea.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the storm.

And tomorrow is Strawberry jam day! Tristan, Fiona, and I are making jam! Yummy yummy! What time??? Christine, what time do I get Fi and from where???

Love you guys...

09:34 pm - my day, looking backwards. livejournal post

I am craving spinach today. Spinach and peanut butter. I can't seem to get enough of either. I catch myself with a spoon, dipping into the peanut butter jar, then follow it up with raw spinach like a cow chewing cud. It must be disgusting.

I know why I do it. It's the protein and the iron. I generally crave raw spinach. During the period of months that there was none available because of the salmonella problem, I thought I was going to die. I was craving it so bad I might have eaten it and taken the risk.

The peanut butter is the last month or so, and I think it might be the protein, and because of the fact that I have cut meat out of my diet drastically. Yes, I still eat meat, but maybe 2 or 3 times a week versus daily. It is supposed to be healthier that way. I don't know, if I am craving protein.

Yes, I'm beating around the bush. I'll stop now and tell you what you want to know. My day.

It actually started off pretty good. Busy, anyway. Dar surprised me by getting here around 8.15 while I was making breakfast for Boo. (Malt o' Meal with sugar - always reminds me of when I was a little girl. My dad used to make it for me) She was rarin' to go work on the storage unit, and I DID tell her that I would go help. We actually made it out of the house by 9.15, dropped Boo off with Chris, then went to town. We threw away an entire dumpster of crap. It felt good. I came back with a few things, but the most important was a box. A white box with blue stripes. A falling apart box, by this time. It holds all of the letters and cards and love notes and trinkets that have ever been sent to me. And some I have written and never sent. I have waited to do anything with all of the letters and cards from K because of wanting this box. This is where they will go. A graveyard, I suppose, of love.

I had an appointment to have my hair cut. (No, just a trim... not cut off) which I was late too because a very tired Boo was too busy throwing a fit to go to sleep. He is almost 6 and still does not do well without a nap. He just can't keep himself together when he is even a bit tired. So I ended up leaving him screaming, and was stressed all the way to the hairdressers. And I even felt a bit uncomfortable there. Not that she did anything, I was just feeling the beginnings of unwelcome and loser that come around this time. I ran away as fast as I could, looking forward to hiding at home....

And sister is here when I arrive.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister. She had come over to do laundry. And brought all three kids. To my clean house. Which is no longer clean. And while she was doing laundry, she disappeared, leaving me with the two babies. I passed the baby off to Chris, who was playing video games in the living room, and tried to entertain older niece, who is 1. Nothing doing. Someone is just too tired to not scream, and the more she screams the more my head feels like it is going to burst like Ghallager's watermelon and then Chris is trying to hand younger niece (10 months) to me too. And I just can't. I don't know how I manage not to say anything to anyone... but sister eventually goes home. And I was glad. She didn't even finish her laundry, left it for me to take off the line, but I didn't care. I was ready for her to be gone. I needed down time.

Ah.... silence. Boo outside playing, silence. So I sit and start going through old letters in my box. Mistake. Alarm is going off in my brain and I ignore it. Bwap Bwap Bwap! 10 minutes later I'm sobbing and feeling so freaking lonely, like I am a terrible person to have treated all these people this way, totally unlovable, sobbing so much that my collar on my shirt is wet.

I spent the rest of the night trying to pick up the pieces.

I am doing this by drawing. I have started a piece, and so far it really gets my lavalampymorosetwisted thing in my head. Maybe I'll share it when I'm done. But don't laugh. I can't draw.

So no period yet... maybe this is the worst day, which means I should start in about 3 days. It's a bad month.
I don't think it helped that Stephen and I did not talk at all today.

Speaking of, thanks Andrea for reminding me to update you all on that topic. Christine mentioned the other night as I was whining to her about it, "Does he not realize that loans are the only way a person can go to college anymore?" And it made me think - maybe he DOESN'T know that. Maybe this is one of those weird cross-cultural miscommunication thingies. So I talked to him about it. And it was. He says that he can't imagine owing the 20,000 that I owe as it stands right now, but that he understands. It bothers him, though. There, a bachelors degree doesn't work like this. I don't really understand how it /does/ work, but that's ok. The bottom line is that it concerns him how much money it is, but he sees that 16000 is less than the 24000 I expect to borrow to finish my degree here, and I can look into them. I won't though, until I hear back from the university. Monday I'll send them an inquiry email again.

So this is my long ranty whiny post about my PMS days. I'm ok - don't worry about me, but do love me. I think you guys are the best friends I could have. And I want to keep you. Thanks for checking up on me tonight, Andrea.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the storm.

And tomorrow is Strawberry jam day! Boo, Fi, and I are making jam! Yummy yummy! What time??? Christine, what time do I get Fi and from where???

Love you guys...

Current Mood: irritated