Good Grief (Myspace Blog)

Old story told again. For the first one, read THIS POST.

Now, I certainly don't mind people talking to me and having interesting conversations with me. And I welcome new friends, which is why my page is public. But come on... at least take a moment to READ my page. Obviously happily involved with someone, obviously not only literate but also eloquent enough that people want to read what I have to say. What could possibly make someone think that the way to my heart (a direct route through Stephen, may I point out) is through something like this:

hey u huni. wud love to have a chat with u sexy. du u have msn babes.x

Come on. Get real. Like I am going to just swoon and immediately give you my MSN because you call me sexy. And yes, that is copied and directly pasted from the message.

Today must be my lucky day, because not only do I get that one, but this one too!

how are you?can we meet?pls anser me.are u really 33 ?:))
u look like a model?

If I was 12 and received this, I certainly hope that in today's world I would already know that the answer is H**L NO I am not going to meet you! I don't even know you! Even if I am thought of as pretty (which some days is a very debatable thing...) I am most definitely not stupid. Messages like this are, and sadly people fall for them all the time. I feel it is my duty to point them out and say that these people are not worth even replying to. Perhaps being blatantly shown how silly they sound will convince them that English is a language to be salvaged, and perhaps the next people to message me will actually take the time to read what I have on my page.

Shesh. Just... shesh.

In Which Amy Says Something Scarey... (Myspace Blog)

There is some pretty big news that I have avoided sharing with you all. I'm not entirely sure why: partly because I wanted to wait until it was absolutely not going to change, and partly because, while I'm excited, I'm also scared.

I'm moving.

Yes, moving in and of itself is a scarey thing. Moving across town is daunting and hard work and exhausting. But this... this is more than that. I am not just moving across town. I am moving across the world.

In very late April I applied to attend a school in the United Kingdom to finish my degree. In May, very late in May, I was accepted. Now, this late in June, things are set enough that I can say that I am moving to England.

I leave at the end of August. I will be homeless at the end of July, crashing on a friends couch because I still have class until mid-August.

There are emotional ups and downs associated with this move. Hija is coming with me. That fact has caused problems with her father, and with her step-mom. And I understand where they are coming from. Hijo is /not/ coming with me... and this breaks my heart. I have moments of wondering if I will be able to function without having him with me. It is going to be equally hard on him, too.

We are moving in with Mi Amor. This is a bit frightening too. He is incredibly gentle, but there are many times when I look at my past and see myself as someone very difficult to love. Is he the one? Is it ever entirely, 100% possible to tell?

It's a different culture, a different community, a different language (even thought it is still English), a different world. We will have to bend and adapt and change. Change is scarey.

The funniest thing to me is that I asked for change. My tattoo is a specific request put forth to learn how to be ok with large change. To become more comfortable at making the tough decisions based on what is best rather than what is safest. Time to put my money where my mouth is.

So... my friends, the clock is ticking. Let's do and be and live and love until we can't anymore. There will be parties announced. There is a family blog... you want the address, message me. Questions? Ask. I am not afraid.

Ok, maybe I am afraid. A little. But that will pass. I spent too much time thinking about this and deciding if I was doing what was best for myself and my kids. I am. I /know/ I am. But that doesn't seem to help the fear. I'm still learning how to deal with that part.

In Which Amy Gets Excited... (Myspace Blog)

So...

Wormhole had their CD release party last night. I was oh so flattered to hear from Travis, begging me sweetly to go, saying that I was missed. Aww... so of course I said I'd go. (Have any of you tried to stand your ground against a crying, begging Travis? No? Well, let me tell you... it's not easy to do. I just cave. It's the puppy-dog eyes, I think...)

It was fun, it was late, I was tired. But I bought a CD, had it signed for hija (who was mad about it being an over 21 show) and brought it home. I looked at it, but I was tired, so I just fell into bed.

This morning, however, I pack up the CD to listen to in my car. And took a moment to read the thank you's to see who I knew (its kind of exciting to think that I know some of the people being talked about. :) You understand, I'm sure.)

Reading, reading, reading... Wait! is that MY name? Holy smokes, it /is/ my name! My name is on the thank yous?! OH MY GOD!!!!

I felt like I was in the second grade talent show and my three little pigs skit had just won first prize. Again. I did a dance. I swear, I did. In my car. MY NAME WAS ON THE THANK YOUS!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

I don't feel like I am an important enough person in the life of this band to have deserved it. They are my friends, I support them because I love them. And their wives, with whom I enjoy spending time. As Chris says, "not a groupie - family."

Wow. I'm overwhelmed and humbled.

I really love all of you. And am quite proud of your accomplishments. And the CD is awesome. So awesome that my cars' CD player didn't want to give it back. Greedy CD player. Mine.

Mi compadres y amigos, soy agradecido. Gracias. Te amo. Todos.

In Which Amy Answers Chris H. ... (Myspace Blog)

Chris H. posted this. We should ALL answer and get some great dialogue going. I, too, am REALLY INTERESTED to know what you think.

I challenge you…

"Here's the deal. I'm sick and tired of all the useless garbage that people normally ask you in those online surveys. I'm interested in what you really THINK. I have ten questions for you. They will require more thought that the ones you're probably used to seeing on MySpace, but they are worthwhile subjects and well worth the time spent thinking about them. My aim is not to judge you by your answers, nor to filter out those people who don't think the same way I do. I just feel that the free and open expression of ideas is a wonderful thing. And I am REALLY INTERESTED in what you have to say about these particular ideas."

1.)Q. Are you for the right to choose, or the right to life, or some other view when it comes to abortion? Please explain.

1.)A. I believe that each person should have the right to choose to terminate a first trimester pregnancy. While I, personally, do not think that I could abort any pregnancy, I do not believe that I have the right to impose my belief onto others. Each unwanted pregnancy that comes to term is an unwanted child. Until a foetus is viable on its' own, then I do not believe that child has a 'right to life'. Once a foetus is viable (which gets to be earlier and earlier) then I believe they gain rights. I do see the need for exceptions to this, so in addition I have to state that I believe there must be some room for flexibility in regards to rape, incest, and determination of significant foetal damage.

2.)Q. Are you for immediate withdrawal from Iraq, or a timetable for withdraw, or indefinite continued military presence (i.e. Germany after WW2), or some other alternative? Please explain.

2.)A. I do not believe that the Iraq war was one that we should have started to begin with. That being said, I think it would be irresponsible of us to wade into the pot, make a mess, then not stick around to clean it up. We must come up with a workable timetable for withdrawal that ties up our loose ends, sets up the Iraqi people to be fairly self sufficient, and gets troops out of there as soon as possible. I believe we are poised to see another Vietnam if we are not careful.

3.)Q. Do you believe religious topics should be free game for public school teachers, or that prayer should be allowed in public school, or that religion should be kept out of public school altogether, or some compromise? Please explain.

3.)A. In Amy's perfect world, each faith would be comfortable enough in its own skin to be looked at critically. Each teacher would be conscientious about doing their work and determined to present all faiths for review. Each student would be willing to have an open mind and look outside their comfort zone without defensiveness. But we don't live in Amy's perfect world. Therefore I believe that there should be a very strict (even more strict than what the US has now) separation between religion and school. If you can't present them ALL, then you should not present ANY. *Until the day that there is true separation of church and state, I will fight for a student's right to have the same rights for their faith that children raised Christian do, i.e. wear religious jewellery, form student groups, offer prayers, refrain from the pledge of allegiance, etc.*

4.)Q. Do you believe that the presidential election should be determined by the popular vote as in a true democracy, or that the electorate was created for a reason which is still valid today and should remain our standard for selecting the president, or some other alternative? Please explain.

4.)A. Let me explain the origin of the electoral college… it was designed by rich white men to keep rich white men in power. It minimizes the impact of individual vote, because the founding fathers were not interested in freedom for all, but keeping power to the few that they deemed worthy. (In other words, wealthy, educated, land owning White men.) I believe that the electoral college should be done away with and each vote should count equally. (And I have to point out that we do not live in a truly democratic society, but a capitalistic one, the differences betwixt the two are great, and they are perpendicular to each other.)

5.)Q. Do you support the death penalty fully, do you think it should be eliminated altogether, or some middle ground? Please explain.

5.)A. I am strongly against the Death Penalty. This was another, previous post (2 January, 2007, if you are interested.)

6.)Q. Do you support euthanasia (often referred to as the right to die or assisted suicide), do you think that anyone who helps someone commit suicide should go to jail (including doctors), or some other alternative? Please explain.

6.)A. I DO support an individual's right to die with dignity and in a way they choose. THIS must be a future post. I have a lot to say about it.

7.)Q. Do you think that gays/lesbians should be allowed to marry, or that there should be some alternative other than marriage, or that marriage should be constitutionally defined as being between a man and a woman, or some other view? Please explain.

7.)A. I believe that anything less than full marriage rights for gay, lesbian, and transgender persons is discrimination. None of that should matter in regards to LEGAL marriage. I could give a hoot what each church chooses to define as marriage in their faith, and believe they should be allowed to grant or refuse religious marriage to their hearts content. However, legal marriage should be no different; no matter the colour, creed, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. of the people involved.

8.)Q. Do you think that all firearms should be made illegal except to trained law enforcement or government agencies, or that new and stricter gun ownership laws should be enacted, or that current laws are enough if they are enforced properly, or that current laws are too strict, or that the right to bear arms is a fundamental constitutional right and that everyone should own one as soon as they can be taught to pull a trigger, or some other view or combination of views? Please explain.

8.)A. This is a hard one for me to describe. I am not really sure where I stand. Perhaps partly because I am not sure what the current gun laws say. (Shame on me.) But here is what I /do/ believe. Guns are not toys. Guns should not be toys. Children should not have toys guns that look real EVER. Toys like this should not even be sold. Children should not be exposed to guns, because guns do not solve problems. The more people have guns the less likely they are to try to find a different solution to a problem, the quicker they are to resort to violence. Violence begets violence and someone has to be the one to stop the cycle. Police officers and other law enforcement agencies should have guns, but the only other reason to own a gun is to hunt. (But only if you eat what you kill.) Ok, you all can shout it together… HIPPIE. I know.

9.)Q. Do you think that the U.S. should close its border to all immigration, or that immigration laws should remain as is as long as they are enforced, or that sneaking into this country is a crime and all illegal aliens should be prosecuted and/or deported, or some other view? Please explain.

9.)A. Yet again, another difficult to answer question. And I'm not sure. So I'll think more and post later.

10.)Q. Do you think certain drugs should be legalized in the US, or that marihuana is OK for medical use only, or that the drug laws should be more strictly enforced as is, or that newer and stricter anti-drug laws should be established, or some other view? Please explain.

10.)A. Here is what I think should be done. All drugs (including cigarettes and alcohol) should be made legal for CONSENTING ADULTS (age to be negotiated, but at least 21) in private or designated areas. (Not public places where those who do not consent are open to second hand exposure.) The government should take control of the manufacture and distribution of said drugs, and all drug paraphernalia. Items essential to safe use (such as sterile hypodermics and graphic literature on the dosage and results of said drug use) should be provided without stigma and free of charge, and disposed of in the same manner. Drugs should be /heavily/ taxed. Resulting taxes should be used to promote recovery programs, provide socialized health care, and to pump money into law enforcement. There should be a complete restructuring of the drug laws, which should provide EXTREMELY stiff penalties for ANYONE who provides any drug to minors or non-consenting adults, who expose children to conditions of drug use, etc. The penalties should be so stiff as to have no second chances and no chance of parole. The goal is to make it so easy to get and the penalties so stiff that no one in their right mind would think about providing to minors. Adults, in my opinion, have infinite right to fuck up their own bodies, up until they begin to harm others.

Let me point out that there is NEVER one answer for every situation. There are always exceptions. I can think of many just for the 10 questions above. Plus, my views are mutable things, as I am very willing to look at things from different perspectives. If you see it different and want to tell me so, fine. I'll listen and think about what you have said. If there is undisputable logic, your views may change mine. Know, however, that I won't criticize your ideas. I am a dynamic thinker, and to stagnate is to die. By extension, I trust that I will be offered the same freedom to express myself without criticism.

In which Amy Wants to be a Geologist... (long w/ pics) (Myspace Blog)

So this is the story of our geology field trip. I have decided that I want to be a geologist when I grow up. My daddy, the-geologist-who-has-been-stuck-on-sides-of-moutains-and-called-ME-for-help, will be SO freaking proud of me.



This is me. Yes. In my AWESOME Earth friendly Recycled-Plastic-Bag hat. I am playing Geologist. Notice the backpack for holding random rocks (strapped over the chest like any REAL geologist) and the groovey Hippie-chick plaid shorts. Almost as cool as golfing attire. But not quite.



This is Erika. We have Geology together, and we study together. Today she is playing Photographer/Filmographer. She is AWESOME at it too, by the way. Notice her Many-Pockets-for-Holding-Rocks Geologist pants. She likes rocks with one direction of cleavage. This makes her Uber-Geocool. Or something like that.

We went to Lucero Arroyo, an arroyo just off I-10 at Radium Springs. When you get there and look, you don't think that there will be anything to see, but you trek down into quite a significant sized arroyo. It is just inside NMSU land, and they prosecute tresspassers, so if you decide to go and see for yourself, make sure you don't get caught.

The first stop on our mile hike is this particular arroyo cliff.



Notice the two different colours of rock? The purple on the bottom is called Palm Park formation, and it is about 50 million years old. The top is called Camp Rice formation, and it is only about 5 million. I want to live to be 5 million...



The bedding of the Palm Park formation is angled about 45 degrees from horizontal, while the bedding of the Camp Rice formation is horizontal.



This is a nice example of an Angular Unconformity, since there is no explanation what happened in the 45 million years between the 2 types of rock. Plus the colours are pretty.

Next stop: This cute little gentle knoll of rock.



This is called an anticline. It is a little frown shaped formation. Had it been smile shaped, it would have been called a syncline. But it's not, so it's not. So there.

Notice how the rocks in this little outcropping are lining up with each other? No? Well, they are.



This is called imbrication, and it is an indication that the rocks were originally placed here by strong currents of moving water. The direction of the imbrication tells the direction in which the current moved. In this case, from the left to the right of the screen.


Here is an example of a lahar, a volcanic debris flow.



This particular lahar is a part of the Palm Park formation (it's purple) and is made of andesite. Geology Guy says that this means there must have been a volcano here.

Yah, like he knows stuff. Sheesh.


Now we start to see a new rock formation. It is yellow and chunky and is called the Abo formation.



It is actually the oldest of the rock formations we see, having had 290 million happy returns. There is a fault between the Abo and Palm Park formations. This video will show you. And yes, that is the wind. Really.



Ok, so everyone repeat after me... Normal faults are produced by extension.

In case you are lost, here is a diagram...



This is Geology Guy straddling the fault. Purple Palm Park formation on the right, yellow Abo formation on the left. I wonder if I would get to straddle faults if I were a geologist...



A bit later on, we see quite a bit of siltstone (And I figured out what it was, yay me!) with fossil imprints of plants. Here is one, kept large for you to see the fern fossil in it.



This is an example of jointing, rocks that crack and expand without additional movement. It almost looks like a puzzle. Erika and I tried to pry some up to take with us, but to no avail. It just wasn't coming.




Now we are almost to the end of the mile hike, and we discover fossiliferous limestone. There were amazing fossils in this, worthy of a few pics.







Notice that all the fossils are marine? As a Geologist-for-a-day, I can tell you that that MEANS SOMETHING.

Geology Guy said that marine=ocean.


In the end, this is what we figure out. In the Early Permian, there was a completely different set of mountains that have since eroded away, along with an ocean that rose and fell with the change in the ice caps. We had rivers and lots of fern type thingies and marine creatures. The REAL geologists drew up a map, just to make it easier to understand. Notice the detail and professional quality artistry.



Along the way, we saw things like mud cracks and burrows of little mud-dwelling creatures, leading Erika to record this video of my questioning Ms. Huff about the differences between two rocks with different burrows.



I even SOUND like a Geologist!

We also saw a horney toad. I like horney toads, having forced them to spit blood out of their eyes at me as a child, so I am leaving his picture large. No, we did not mess with him. Poor thing has probably never seen so many giants in his life, plus they are an ENDANGERED SPECIES. Yes, for reals. Yes, you should feel guilty for torturing the poor things. Go wash the horney toad blood off your hands now.



(Hija saw this picture and said, "Oh, look at him!! He's so horney!!" *sighs*)

And finally, the part that Erika said just proves that I am meant to be a geologist. We are walking back. There is a small fault sticking a foot or two out of the ground. I jump up on it...



and shout "It's not MY fault!"

I thought I said the funniest thing in the world. So did Ms. Huff. We rolled on the floor laughing. It WAS funny, dammit! Erika, however, just smirked and said it was geologist humour.

If I had known that all it took was stuffing a backpack full of random rocks and being funny, I would have become a geologist it a long time ago.

In Which Amy Has an Adventure... (3) (Myspace Blog)

The Day of Comedy
(and not much else)

1. There are more than 100 British comedians. And they cannot all be watched in a two hour time span.

2. To stereotypical Brits, vomiting is funny. Especially when it is projectile and happens repeatedly. And is combined with gossip and prejudice. Stereotypically speaking, anyway.

3. SOME Brits think it funny to watch silly American girls watch projectile vomiting during breakfast.

4. British comedy sitcoms are better than their American counterparts.

5. The best part of British comedy is the part that I was too busy to watch...

6. Not everyone who gets a rug burn on their forehead was dragged out of the bedroom face first. Really. No matter what a British comedienne says.

7. Sometimes, a day of 'nothing else' is just what silly American girls need.

8. Some emotions are truely overwhelming.

Coming soon...
Adventure 4.... Walkies - otherwise known as 'The Great Coverup Adventure'

In Which Amy Has an Adventure... (2) (Myspace Blog)

Adventure 2
The Quest for the Free Loo

1. If you call it a bathroom, people look at you funny. It's not a bathroom - its a loo.

2. Using a public loo is not a free experience.

3. Just because an establishment (such as a 'pub') has a loo, does not mean that you can use it. For free, that is.

4. When you look panicked because someone asks you for 20 p (pence) to use the loo, it is a dead giveaway that you are NOT BRITISH.

5. Walking does not reduce the need to use the loo.

6. Sometimes, a coffee shop is a nice place... especially when they have a free loo. Makes you want to buy chai. Unless they don't have any.

7. Loo doors DO lock. Just because silly American girls can't figure out HOW to lock the loo door does not mean that they don't.

8. Murphy's Law dictates that, the one time that said silly American girl does not lock the loo door, someone WILL walk in.

9. Blushing looks the same, no matter if you are British or American. I know. I saw.

Coming soon...

Adventure 3
The Day of Comedy (and not much else.)

In Which Amy Has an Adventure... (1) (Myspace Blog)

So, I'm here, in London. And I wanted to type up a really quick update for all of you loved ones whom I miss and who miss me.

1. Flying to Houston DOES NOT suck when you have an anti-motion sickness patch. I still don't like how it feels, but I did not puke.

2. Flying is very crowded on tiny jets. There isn't even room to sit sideways.

3. Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston DOES NOT recycle. They are only the largest airport in that area... shame on them for not setting an example!

4. Flying on an 8 hour flight is tiring. And hard to sleep on. And long. Really long. No, really. I mean it.

5. Jets for an 8 hour flight are bigger than small ones and are therefore not quite as uncomfortable. But only just.

6. Just because it is an overnight flight does not mean there will be sleep involved.

7. Immigration in the US is insane (they make you take off your shoes!) and Immigration in the UK is just as insane (the line was longer than any line I've ever seen!)

8. Sometimes, just sometimes... things are exactly what they seem to be.

Coming soon - Amy Has an Adventure 2 - the Quest for the Free Loo...

In Which Amy Gets Ready... (Myspace Blog)

So, I can no longer contain my excitement.

In 8 days I will be getting on an airplane and taking the longest trip of my life, on so many levels.

I am going to England.

My colleagues are jealous. My students think I'm never coming back, and tell me in their four-year-old voices "But I can't go with you - I might miss Barney." My brother tells me not to forget I'm an American.

8 days.

I am going for a total of 9 days. Each plane trip is about 12 hours. I might be eaten by sharks when the plane crashes over the ocean. I care about that - I really do... but I'm not going to let it stop me.

I am being taken to London for the weekend. There are 'plans'. I don't know what that means, and I'm not being told. I'm not supposed to ask. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not ask? I'm only the nosiest person in the whole world - if I were a cat I would have been killed by the curiosity - and I'm not supposed to ask?! But I'm being a good girl. I promise. I'm not asking.

This may be a turning point in my life. I just don't know... and I'm ready and excited to find out. So tonight... laundry. Not really fun, but more fun when I think about the fact that this laundry will be going with me. To England.

God - how the hell am I supposed to wait that long? Anyone invented the machine that speeds up and slows down time yet? I'll be needing to borrow it for a few weeks. I promise that /you/ won't notice if I stop time forever.

In Which Amy Wanders... and is NOT Lost. Really. (Myspace Blog)

What I did on My Summer Vacation.

Um... Its not summer. It was a weekend. yeah...I mean on my weekend vacation.

Wait - I worked. On my weekend workcation.

But it was a conference... and those are kinda fun....

What I did on my Fun Workend Confcation.
by : ME.

Um... how do I start these things again? ? ? Oh, yeah...
Once upon a time.... no. Thats a fairy tale.

Dear Mr. Clithbolt... doh! Letter. This is not a letter...

Name: Hendricks, Amy E. Age... Argh! Thats a form!

I am never going to get this blog written....

*sigh*

*stare out window*

*twiddle thumbs*

*make funny noises with mouth*

Wow... I'm slightly bored. Wonder if I can write now...

Friends....

Hey! That's a pretty good start! I like that! Yeah, Amy, you totally rock!

...

...

Um... where exactly were you going with this?
...you could say something random... like...

Pickles.

No. that's dumb. And sounds like hija. Who is 14. Its not dumb when you are 14. YOU are 32. Act your age, for christsakes! Freaking dumb... everyone is going to think this is the dumbest blog ever! Crap. Crapcrapcrap.

...

...

Fuck it. Noone reads this stupid blog anyway.

(And that is why there has been so little posted on my prolific blog. By the way... I DID actually have a conference... in Albuquerque this last weekend... it was so fun, thanks to Andre and Lila for putting me up... and I actually touched base with many an old friend. Yay me! Believe it or not, I really do miss blogging with you all!)

In Which Amy Just Says... (Myspace Blog)

There is a carnival ride...

You stand against a padded wall and there are bars to grab onto, but you are not strapped in at all. You are a small piece of a large pie - there are many others around you in a circle. You spin - faster, faster... and the floor falls away and there is nothing under you at all. Then the pie spins on its side and you just have to trust that you won't fall out - that some force of nature will be enough to hold you in.

Today the floor fell away.

In Which Amy's Clock is Ticking... (Myspace Blog)

Ok, I've already slid down the spiral into video degradation, I might as well share another. I promise no more.

Stephen sent this to me...

Why is it that I identify so much with this ad?!? Babies everywhere!!! (It must be my mother... or my age... or, I don't know, something.)

In Which Amy Sees Stigmata... (Myspace Blog)

I don't know how it happened... I wasn't actually looking... but I found this. And I NEVER post videos, so you KNOW this has to be beeping hilarious.

You have to watch it before you read on. Trust me, it gets better!

Army of Pandas - Stigmata On

Check out this funny sketch from the Army of Pandas! Stigmata On

Oh my god!!!

And even funnier... I watched it, then drug Hija out of her bedroom. She watched and, halfway through the clip, said "Is that a tampon?" I think I died! Oh god oh god... I'm still laughing.

In Which Amy Says It Again... (Myspace Blog)

Did I mention that I have the best friends in the world?

I think I did, but I'll say it again....

I have the best friends in the whole world!

Muuuah!

I love you guys!

In Which Amy is Not Weawy Gone... just werry werry qwiet... (Myspace Blog)

I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world.

I know that it has been forever since I last posted... and every day I tell myself that I need to post for all of you today. And it doesn't happen - what with all the day to day life stuff.

Of which there is a lot lately... wanna hear, you say? OK! I'll spill...

When we last left our hero-ess...
she was ranting about the horrors of capital punishment and talking about her response to the death of Sadaam Hussein. She was gearing up for school, but had not started...

Well...

My old job called me out of the blue one day. This would be the old job that I tried very hard to get them to work around my schedule, even going so far as to ask them to split my position so that I could keep my job and still go to school. Needless to say, the answer was NO! So they call me... and here is the conversation:

Them: Um... hi Amy.... um... could you come in and meet with us?

Me: Huh?

Them: (wail) We can't keep a teacher in your classroom and we have gone through three and can you please just come in and meet with us?!

Me: (thinking) This should be fun... bet it is just going to be the same old same old...

Me: Well... ok.

Meeting went as follows: I walk in, sit down.

Them: (handing me a notepad and a pen) Write down the 4 things we need to do to get you to say yes. *YES!!! that WAS an exact quote!*

Me: huh?!

scribble scribble scribble

Moral of the story: I got three of the four. A significant raise... part time.... responsible for only 1 session of a two session split. The only thing I asked for and they could not give me was benefits.

So I am working again. Hard. About 25 hours a week. Trying to make up for not being there for a semester. And school. 16 hours. Calculus, 2 histories, geology, and an honours English class (Arthurian legend - yee haw! I love it!). I'm so busy that I gave up Yoga just to keep my head above water. Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, as my daddy would say.

But that's ok.... because I am NOT replaceable. That is the highlight of this. They /regretted/ letting me go. I am not replaceable. HaHa! I am awesome!

To Stephie and Paula... thanks for loving me... for checking up on me... and for pushing me to post. My kids rock. Jim and Erin got married... and neither of them is spilling on how to get at the wedding pics so I can post some of me and the kids on here. The world is a blissful place and I love learning. Plus I am adored and kept, and it feels tremendous.

Oh, and I have a spare cat... a large orange tabby that gives hugs and kisses (seriously) and is the sweetest boy I have ever met... and he really needs a home. Hijo has decided to name him Chanco... and can't understand why we can't keep him. My house is just too small. He needs to be neutered, and he has a very loud voice... but so so sweet. Someone take him before he worms his way into my heart and I cannot let him go.

Ok, enough babble....
I'm not promising more... but I'm going to try.

Oh! Speaking of no more babble... did you all notice The Dead One called me goddess? (check out my comments... it's there) I'm totally digging that... I should be referred to as such more often!

In Which Amy Takes a Stand... (Read this...) (Myspace Blog)

I know this post will be controversial. I know you may not agree with me at all. And that is ok. I love the fact that you and I can have separate opinions and share them... and agree to disagree. I also love the fact that I finally get an opportunity to show hija, and all the other children to whom I have said 'Back your shit up', exactly what it looks like to do so. (Note: some link names have been shortened... so if you copy the address, make sure you follow the link and copy the actual address)

A very big thing has happened in this world of ours... a turning of a page, perhaps. Saddam Hussein. Hanged. And the world watched it on YouTube... and laughed.

I have to preempt any sort of speculation right away - I am adamantly in disagreement with the Death Penalty. I do not agree with Capital Punishment. I do not believe that we have any more right to take away a life than anyone else does. I actually think the Death Penalty is barbaric... and inhumane. I accept that there are many who disagree with me... I am not seeking someone to change my mind, nor am I trying to change yours.

This particular execution is extremely chilling to me. There are so many reasons why. First, because of the facts that point to an injust trial: including only 4 days between loss of appeal and execution, that there was another, ongoing trial for crimes of far more sevarity, and the many flaws in the trial in which Hussein was sentenced to die.

http://www.ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=36028
http://hrw.org/english/docs/2006/12/30/iraq14950.htm
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1885354,00050004.htm

Second, because this potential misuse of the budding Iraqi judicial system was APPLAUDED by our government's highest representative as a "fair trial", even while other government officials questioned the speed at which the sentence was carried out.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/01/world

Third, for the fact that Saddam Hussein was hanged, which has the potential to be a very inhumane way to be executed if done improperly. To be fair, part of this is based on the fact that I do not, in any circumstance, support the death penalty. I believe that it is inhumane in its inherence.

http://deathpenaltyinfo.msu.edu/c/about/methods/hanging.htm

Fourth, and I think this may be the most chilling to me, for the truth of the human response to this act. It is so chilling to me, that I cannot even find words to express it. The facts speak for themselves.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/30/AR2006123000743.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/01/world/middleeast/
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/ny-woiraq0101,0,3647273.story?coll=ny-top-headlines

We live in a country which glorifies violence in response to violence, even while condemning it. It is the way. However, there is a worldwide movement expressing concern over the Death Penalty... and I agree. Governments, nor people, have the right, ever, to take the life of a person in response to their crimes.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3346225,00.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/30/world/europe/30cnd-react.html

I strongly believe in the sanctity of human rights, to which I add the banishment of the Death Penalty. I feel that I must end this blog post with the UN recognized "Universal Statement of Human Rights". Granted, it does not speak out against Capital Punishment... but I believe that it should.

http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html

In Which Amy Talks about Traveling for the Holiday... (Part 2) (Myspace Blog)

02 Jan 2007 00:19

In Which Amy Talks about Traveling for the Holiday... (Part 2) (Myspace Blog)

This is the continuation of a previous post... so if you haven't read (Part 1) you should do so... Christmas morning. My mother wakes Beth and I up screeching at 7 am... (that is 5 am my time, just in case you were wondering!...) "Girls!!!" (screech) "Get up girls!" (screech) "We have to hurry and eat breakfast and go so hurry up!" (screech). Not that I mind... ok. I'm lying. I minded. The kids could wait an extra hour to open presents... /I/ was tired. So breakfast, shower, lots of Earl Grey (Thank God for emergency shopping trips, even if they /are/ to Walmart, which I hate and refuse to shop at based on their lack of affordable benefits for their employees and their aggressive anti-union stance...) and an hour later, we are on our way. And the entirety of the Holen family estrogen squad meets at Marianne's house. Chaos. Beautiful, loving chaos. Kids running, screaming in delight over stocking and in anticipation of presents... Bustle in the kitchen baking crescent rolls and breakfast dishes... Cameras flashing, rustles of paper, sharp cries of 'Don't you open that yet!' Chaos. Pat and Nick are excited to not have to play Santa, and the job is delegated to the next generation of nephews... James and Nathan get a turn. Of course, they lose interest quickly, and, not knowing any of us, give me Bethy's gift and have no idea who Lizzie is, and Pat and Nick end up taking over again. It was wonderful. Lovely. Perfect. And passed far too quickly. The next day is Monday, traveling day. But first, family pictures. It is a rare thing for all the girls to be home for the holidays together, so pictures it is. (You can see some of them on my pictures' page...) Then a quick pack trip, a quick email to every family member with a nah-ne nah-ne to the boys that missed out, and into the car we go. I am the first to drive, being daylight and all. I experience my first round-about (apparantly these are very big in New England and Great Britain...) and lots of back roads to get onto I-20. I drive until dusk, when we stop for dinner at a Cracker Barrel somewhere in Mississippi or Louisiana, I think. This is important, so I'll say it again... Cracker Barrel. Thus beigns the nightmare portion of the trip. Dark, cant sleep, toss and turn. Anna and I try Serenity again... and if I cup my hands around my eyes just right, then I can't see the movement of the lights outside. This time, I actually manage to finish the movie with only a headache. But I toss and turn... and Beth is driving. I hope I talked about Beth driving in (Part 1)... I get a headache and my stomach rolls just thinking about talking about Beth driving... AND I got sent to the very back of the car beause it was dark and I hadn't taken my turn. Needless to say, the feeling good thing was out the window. 2 am we arrive in Dallas to drop Beth off, and noone listens when I say that Jim and Erin were expecting us to stop by... and I don't care enough to say it again. I half sleep my way through the night, and finally it is morning and I am tired and grumpy and achey and we are in Abilene... and /everyone/ is tired and grumpy and achey and Mom says "I want Cracker Barrel for breakfast." The groans and sighs abound. Pat makes a comment and the flag is thrown, it is official - the battle begins. We don't find a Cracker Barrel, and ended up eating at McDonalds (yet another place that I refuse to frequent based upon their treatment of employees and militant anti-union stance...). Funny how my morals go out the window... I don't say a word against their choice of meal at all. The rest of the trip is Pat making comments at Mom and Mom making comments at Pat and everyone else and I am texting Stephen saying "Only 300 more miles...." and trying to sleep and it is all a blur. BUT - The clear spot in the blur is Mom saying "Amy, when we get home you are going to sleep before you drive the rest of the way to your house, right?" and me saying "No, I'm going right home" and thinking "I cannot be around these people for another minute without exploding into little tiny bits hell no I'm not staying another night!" Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family.... just consider the circumstances. So home to Mom's... pack my car, then home to my house. Bed. I want bed. I feel like I haven't slept in a week (sleeping on the floor and not sleeping in a car will do that, I guess...) and I just want my bed. It takes me some time to recover... but I do. So, a wonderful, well worth it trip, and only 28 hours in the car this time. Would I do it again? Absolutely. And that jumps me to New Years. On which I did nothing. I love the fact that I am allowed to avoid acknowledging the holidays in my own house.

In Which Amy Wants to Remember... (Myspace Blog)

Here are some things that I really want to remember about this holiday:

* Erin and her tiny baby belly. I think its a girl... I'm pretty sure.

*Outside of Marianne's house, Nikki walks up to me and leans against me and says... "Aunt Amy... you have a smell." Is it a nasty old lady smell? no. It is a good smell then? yes. Is it distinctive? yes. Will she smell it forever and identify it as my smell? yes. She says it is not the patchouly of my hair, or the lavender of my clothes... but ME. My smell. I have a smell.

*Wrapping presents with Marianne and Matt and talking. I miss talking with her... and she called me her best friend. I miss talking with her... I spilled my guts about current situations and it was nice... she was supportive... and I miss talking to her...

*Meeting Nathan and Ian for the first time... and the rest of the trip wherever we walk, Nathan reaches to hold my hand. I like Heathers' boys.

*The old rusty lawn chair hidden in the woods... and the hour I sat in it listening to the quiet and having alone time. Nice.

*Fuzzy vines mean poison ivy... and they really are fuzzy!

*Hide and Seek in the dark, but it is way too scary to play. I hide under the car and I am the first person Pat finds. That means I'm it... but I know everyone will hide in the darkest parts of the yard, so Matt offers to hunt with me. He actually does all the work, but I can pretend that I was it.

*Heart to heart with Mom... and I don't really like what she has to say, but it is valuable anyway. I'm so grateful that she cares enough to tell me things that are not so fun to hear.

*Lizzie comes to Matt and Marianne's house... and it is the first time I have seen her since she went into the military. She is not a little girl anymore.

*Sleeping on the floor... I really really miss my kids... and I'm homesick. Georgia is pretty, but I don't think it is a place that I want to live.

In Which Amy Talks about Traveling for the Holiday... (Part 1) (Myspace Blog)

So, this is part 1 of my holiday extravaganza! No... there is no part 2 yet... because part 2 hasn't happened yet. It will, starting tomorrow morning, when kids scream and throw themselves on presents... yeah.. you know how xmas morning looks.

So, the original plan was for me to leave on Yule... AFTER a circle with my coven. I was going to take laundry and other things, drop mi hija with her father, and pack at my moms' house. Circle at 7... plenty of time. Right? Right...

I don't actually make it to the circle. I don't actually make it to mi hijas fathers' house until 10... and my moms' until 11. Then laundry... 2 loads that won't dry. We are supposed to leave at 5 am... at 4 am I am dozing on the couch trying desperately to finish the laundry so I can pack, eyes red rimmed and tired... and 6 shots of Baileys Irish Cream in me. (Mom did it...I walk in and she says 'Have some!' and how the hell am I supposed to say no to that? Just because she went to bed and left me to drink them alone means nothing, I swear...) My lips were nice and numb.

Eventually laundry gets done and I shower and there is only time to rush rush rush and weren't we supposed to leave at 5? Maybe... but we ACTUALLY leave at 6:30... after I am told that 2 suitcases is too many and am forced to shove all my stuff into 1. Tight squeeze, but my nephew sits on it and we manage.

The plan is to make it to Dallas to pick up sister 3, see brother 2 and sister in law on day 1 (9 hours), then drive overnight into Georgia on day 2 (12 hours). Somehow, it doesn't seem to work that way.

Day 1 -So we leave, and it is fun, and exciting, and I am looking out the window... and by mile 250 I am wishing that I had brought my charcoals and a sketch pad (note to self: never go on a trip without your charcoals and a sketch pad!) and by mile 350 I am bored. We watch 1/2 of the movie Serenity before Amy gets sick. Like turning green sick. Pull over and puke sick. Ihatecars sick. We stop for lunch. Amy does not get to finish the movie, which upsets her, because she really really wants to. We finally get into Dallas 12 hours later. I wont detail the rest of that day, as it involved lots of laughing at Amy for being sick, and lots of Amy trying /not/ to be sick. Seeing brother and sister in law was so fun and perfect... and makes me miss them even more.

Day 2 - I drive in the early hours of the morning for a bit. Fun.. but it is dark and the road feels like it is coming out of nowhere, there is fog that falls from the sky, and the trees are dark and creepy at the side of the road. I can't think about it too hard without scaring myself. BUT - I go through 3 new states... Louisiana, and Mississippi, and Alabama. I seem to have an ongoing love affair with a restuarant called 'The Waffle House'. I see them every 2 miles or so.... the are following me in the dark. Really. Then breakfast time (not at Waffle House... they are stalking me...) and I'm done with my stint of driving.

Next Sister 3 drives.... and I get so so sick. She drives like she has to in Dallas... aggressive, quick movements that jerk us across lanes. No that this is bad... but I spend the rest of the trip asleep in a desperate attempt to avoid having to pull over to puke. I wake, she changes lanes, I turn green and promptly fall back asleep. My music is pounding in my ears to try to cover sounds of conversation that might keep me concious. Everytime I wake I groan and ask where we are... the car turns a corner, I groan again and turn green and fall back asleep. My nephew thinks this is the most amusing thing ever.

After getting lost, we make it to Georgia and the hotel by 1... (17 hours). They have a treadmill! yay! And I run a mile to make up for the fact that I have sat on my tush for the last 31 hours. A mile is all I can do... I am dragging so. I meet 1 nephew that I hadn't before, saw one that I hadn't seen since he was two, and hugged sisters that I haven't seen since mi hijo was an infant. Dinner at family's house and I am beat beat beat by 8. We get back to the hotel and I am asleep before my mom stops talking.

Wake next morning for breakfast, and go for a run with said nephew, who is 15 and thinks that all people should have the energy and stamina to run like him. I am dragging... so tired that I can't think. Plus I'm old. Which means he teases me about being slow and not keeping up. I think we managed a mile before I was stick-a-fork-in-me done. Everyone else went to go shopping... all I want is a nap. So I go to sleep... and my sisters have to go to the front desk to get a key because I do not wake up to answer the door. or the phone. or the hollering outside the window. I dont actually wake until my nephew is tickling my feet. (which I hate)

Then the afternoon with family and kids is spent playing and cooking and making candy and my baby sister gets there! and /all/ of the girls are in the same place so lets take pictures! and wrap presents and talktalktalk and hide and seek in the dark, but I am too scared to play long because it is so DARK! And there are monsters... BUT I now know what poison ivy looks like.

So, tonight Santa comes to Georgia. Amy wakes early... and part two begins.

Happy Holidays!

I miss my babies!

OK, FINE! In Which Amy Might Share a Little Bit... (Myspace Blog)

Summer - 1996. Amtgard. The Gathering of the Clans. I am hanging out with Kayrana and Spirit. Gwynna, Kayrana, and Spirit. Spirit, Gwynna, and Kayrana. We are a triad. Inseparable.
When we meet them I remember being stunned by their accents - so very British. So very sexy. Right proper gentlemen, they. Fang - and Azrael. Lovely, deliciously gorgeous slices of merry old England - here. In the woods. Alone. With us.

We coddled them. Went everywhere with them. Introduced them to everyone we knew. Taught them what a cloved orange was, without actually giving them one. Showed them who was cool and who was not. Showed them where was fun and where was not, what to drink, what NOT to drink, and where it was safe to pass out for the night. It was FUN. Fang woke from his alcoholic stupor the next morning with his contacts glued to his eyeballs from having slept in them. Azrael smiled a lot and was quiet.

The weekend passed quickly, and a friendship developed. Azrael and Gwynna - running into each other on the amt-mux, then wandering off together over IM. And the feeling snuck up - and never left.

I craved him. Running into him was a joyous delight that ground my day to a halt. Encounters were never often enough, always hours long, and full of wonderful conversation. I craved him and never asked too much. I never dug into the person behind the persona. But I never stopped craving him.

Soon enough, pictures exchanged, poems sent, packages of shortbread and other baked goods air-mailed, and letters and music cassettes and always 'I love you's when saying goodbye. And I meant it - but I didn't say that.

Conversations with his mum and sister - packages back and forth - and then nothing. Life went on. Splitting up. Marriage. Babies. Occasional emails to catch up, full of love and wishes to talk more, then fading into the distance of life. We danced around each other. Don't let him too close, Amy - love him from a distance or he might know - he might figure it out - and then you lose it all. Better to be peripheral friends. He is too valuable to lose.

Then, divorce. Big. And alone. And it is good, it is cleansing, but it hurts. Then it heals. Slowly. Time passes, and suddenly it is 6 months and he is still there, always there, has always been there and you never say anything, Amy, why? But England is so far away... and is it worth it to lose such a friend? An old and dearly valued friend?

Thoughts and conversations. We get deeper. There is a person behind the facade and god... I like the person even more! Agony... looking back and it is a slap in the face - READ the emails, Amy - years of them - and it is obvious. OBVIOUS. And I want to let that go? BUT BUT BUT...
Deep breaths. Take a chance, Amy. Take a chance. Does it hurt to move on and take a chance? So I close my eyes. I breathe in. I leap...



And find out that he has saved every conversation we have ever had.

I find out he has saved every email that we have ever sent.

Every 'I love you' - he spoke truly.


Panic - god oh my god - what do I do now?! England is so far it will never work everyone will laugh it is all online he is just a bounce back it's too soon i'm being silly what the hell am I thinking oh god oh god - and then it is 9 months of time alone... and how can 9 months be a bounce back? How can 9 months be rushing? For that matter, how can 10 years be a bounce back? How can 10 years be rushing?

And so.....

This is my Stephen,
and I am His Amy.
I have loved him for
10 years - and he
has loved me back.

And the rest is just details.

The End