In Which Amy Could Have Died... Again... (Myspace Blog)

There are times when beauty can kill you. The first time this happened to me was the first time I heard the song "Perfect Time of Day" by Howie Day. I was driving home from work, it was overcast and drizzley and the clouds were tumbling over the mountain and it was so beautiful, what with the rain and the clouds and the colours and the song that I thought I could die and even THAT would be beautiful, with the image of perfect beauty in my eyes. I think I just might have drifted off into death, but I thought of my children and it pulled me back into the world and I made it home safely. This morning was the second time. It was far earlier than I am usually even awake, let alone out of the house, driving. Last night had been rainy and hail-y, so I had fallen asleep listening to the plink of hail on the roof. When I left the house, it was still dark, there was water thick on the ground, and the windows of my car were heavy with the almost-frost that is indicitive of the fact that autumn is on her way. Almost as soon as I got on the Interstate, I noticed a very light fog. I was excited! I love fog, because it is so rare! By the time I reached Mesquite, it had become quite heavy; I could barely see the car 20 feet in front of me, and I was starting to get just a bit scared. Then the most amazing thing happened... the sun started to rise. "Perfect Time of Day" came on the radio, and the sun glinted like diamonds off the fog. It was beautiful, the intense beauty that is almost scary like death. My breath caught in my throat, I had to fight to remember how to drive, and, once again, I felt that this beauty was so.... passionate that I could drift off and be blessed to die with beauty like that in my eyes. It was beyond gorgeous. Once again, this thought scared me a bit more, and I thought of my children. Once again, they drew me back, and I remembered that this was not a gift of death, but of life. Though I still had to be careful to remember how to drive, because those diamond gems twinkling like the stars kept calling my name and it was so very tempting... I wonder if I would have had experiences like these before if I had taken the time to stop and notice them, or if they are truely tiny gifts of the Universe that happen so rarely. If that is the case, how lucky am I that I have seen beauty like that, not once, but twice. And how lucky am I that, each time, such beauty has chosen to accompany itself with such a beautiful song. Very lucky indeed.