Religion and Politics

By the way, Amy said yesterday (she actually spoke these words within hearing distance of me, so don't scan down the page thinking you missed her 'blogging this comment) that a 'blog shouldn't contain views on religion or politics, as she didn't want readers offended. (Amy says: I actually had three things on my list. Politics, religion, and sex. Thank goodness he only talked about the first two, I suppose!)

Do you know how sorely tempted I am to now post about religion or politics? Especially as I have such strong views that will no doubt offend the majority of readers!!

Of course, that would take my valuable time, and require me to actually post to the 'blog, which is something you all know I don't do.

So, do me a favour.

Delve into your deepest beliefs about religion and politics...

... take a moment to clarify in your mind the exact nature of your beliefs and opinions...

... add them all together into a single entity that uniquely defines you...

Now, (to be fair, probably all of you) realise you are totally wrong. Your beliefs are ridiculous. Your opinions laughable and self-contradictory. There are fundamental facts and clear irrefutable evidence that prove that what you think is right, is actually wrong. The very core of your life up to this point that has been influenced by these thoughts should be carefully gathered up, taken out back, and humanely put down like an old blind sheepdog. You need to reassess your beliefs or opinions, and this could well take you the rest of your short life to do so. Even then you might never get it right.

But, I'm a caring person. I don't want the rest of your life to be the waste that your life up to this point has been. You've done me a favour, saved me the time by gathering up your own beliefs and destroying them to save me the effort, so I am going to save you time also. You don't have to spend the rest of your life fighting to work out the truth. I'm going to let you share my thoughts and beliefs instead. If anyone asks your opinion, just say you agree with Stephen.

There you go, don't you feel better now, knowing you're finally right?